In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a huge fan of Regina Mills (aka The Evil Queen) on ABC’s Once Upon A Time. Lana Parrilla gives Regina a depth and complexity that would’ve gone unexpressed in the hands of a less skillful actor. From the second episode, I’ve been rooting for the character who curses people and keeps a vault filled with the hearts she ripped out.
To make things even more heart-rending, the show makes it clear that Regina was not born bad. She was a good person, heroic even. But years of sustained trauma and no viable options to heal it made her desperate and bitter. So she did everything in her considerable power to gain control over her life, make sure that no one else could ever hurt her, and seek justice for the loss of Daniel, which was never answered for.
But to hear some people say it, her suffering should’ve made her a better person. Somehow, she should have risen above it all and made healthy, constructive decisions.
What does Judaism have to say about this?
The Jewish perspective is that this world is the focus and therefore suffering stinks and should be minimized. Christianity holds that the next world is more important than this world and that suffering ennobles.
Luke Ford, “Jewish vs. Christian Views on Suffering”
[T]he idea that suffering horribly should make people more morally attuned, and behave more ethically […] is more a fatuous truism than an authentic truth. The notion that suffering makes anyone better may have deep intuitive and socio-cultural roots, especially in Christian tradition, but it is far from a demonstrable axiom.
The historical record suggests that survivors of the Holocaust did not necessarily emerge as more sensitive to human suffering than people who had not gone through the Holocaust. Nor should they have. Since there is no such thing as an archetypical Holocaust survivor, there is no such thing as a typical response. Each person entered the Holocaust with his or her distinctive characteristics, endured a unique set of Holocaust-related circumstances and emerged from the Holocaust with his or her own personal perceptions, lessons and conclusions. Undoubtedly, some survivors emerged with a heightened awareness toward human suffering and a resultant moral sensibility, but obviously others did not. The only common denominator regarding the suffering of the Holocaust is that it inevitably included extreme pain and left an indelible scar.
Robert Rozett, “Suffering Doesn’t Beget Moral Capital”
These directly refute the notion that the suffering Regina endured should have ennobled her in some way. That she could, and should, without any help whatsoever—There is no therapy in the Enchanted Forest—be able to shrug off the effects of years of abuse, trauma, isolation, manipulation, and exploitation.
The Jewish perspective states otherwise. The implicit question behind the rejection of redemptive suffering is: What do you expect to happen when a person is subjected to everything Regina went through?
Central to the Jewish response to suffering is a staunch rejection of the belief in its redemptive power. […] It leads to a tortured spirit and a pessimistic outlook on life. It scars our psyches and brings about a cynical consciousness, devoid of hope. Suffering causes us to dig out uncertainty in the hearts of our fellows and to be envious of other people’s happiness. If individuals do become better as a result of their suffering, it is despite the fact that they suffered, not because of it. Ennobling of character comes from triumph over suffering, rather than its endurance.
Schmuley Boteach, Judaism for Everyone: Renewing Your Life Through the Vibrant Lessons of the Jewish Faith
This is an interesting rebuttal of the idea that people earn happiness because they are good. In fact, it seems to imply the inverse: that a certain measure of happiness is necessary for us to do good. Despite what we say about free will and our choices, what the above quote suggests is that in the Jewish worldview, suffering undermines our ability to make real choices because we’re constantly struggling against the effects of our trauma or unconsciously acting them out.
This is not fatalism. It’s acknowledging that where we come from and what we’ve gone through have powerful impacts on the choices we can make. Some of us–perhaps most–have learned some limiting or destructive things about ourselves and about life, and if approached by the right person in the right way at the right time, we can learn new ways. But we can’t always know or do that without help.
In Judaism, suffering doesn’t define us. Our ability to respond to the suffering of others does. We don’t see suffering as expiation or cleansing of sin, as do some other faiths.
Laurie Zoloth, interview
So many people search for a reason why people suffer. They want to redeem tragedy by giving it meaning. Suffering ennobles the spirit, they say. It makes you more mature. It helps you focus on what’s important in life.
I would argue that suffering has no purpose, no redeeming qualities, and any attempts to infuse it with rich significance are deeply misguided.
Of course suffering can lead ultimately to a positive outcome. […] But does it have to come about this way? Is suffering the only way to learn goodness?
Jewish values maintain that there is no good that comes from suffering that could not have come through a more blessed means. […]
Here is another way that Jewish values are so strongly distinguished from other value systems. Many religions believe that suffering is redemptive. […]
But Judaism, in prophesying a perfect Messianic future where there is no death or pain ultimately rejects the suffering-is-redemptive narrative. Suffering isn’t a blessing, it’s a curse. Jews are obligated to alleviate all human misery. Suffering leaves you bitter rather than blessed, scarred rather than humble. Few endure suffering without serious and lasting trauma. […]
Schmuley Boteach, “No Holds Barred: The Truth About Suffering”
If suffering creates Evil Queens, Judaism implies that even more suffering is not going to redeem an Evil Queen. At this point, wishing more suffering on someone who has already been through so much is not instructive but sadistic. Even if she brought a lot of it on herself, indifference toward her suffering or hoping that she suffers even more simply does not work. It only creates an endless loop of pain and misery.
And if Jews wanted eternal damnation for their sins, they would have become Christians.
Bizarro Torah 